Behaviour Management & Positive Relationships

Course 24 – Behaviour Management & Positive Relationships

Introduction

Children's behaviour develops over time.

They are learning to:

• manage emotions;
• solve problems;
• build friendships;
• communicate needs;
• regulate themselves.

Adults play a vital role in helping children develop these lifelong skills.

Positive behaviour support is not about controlling children.

It is about teaching children.

Learning Outcomes

By the end of this course you will be able to:

• understand why behaviour occurs;
• build positive relationships with children;
• promote positive behaviour consistently;
• establish appropriate boundaries;
• respond calmly to challenging situations;
• use effective de-escalation techniques;
• understand the relationship between behaviour, SEND and safeguarding;
• record behaviour incidents appropriately;
• work effectively with parents and carers.

DASC's Behaviour Philosophy

At DASC we believe:

• every child deserves respect;
• behaviour can be taught;
• relationships influence behaviour;
• consistency creates security;
• children learn best when they feel emotionally safe.

Our aim is to help children develop self-regulation—not simply compliance.

What is Behaviour?

Behaviour includes:

• words;
• actions;
• body language;
• facial expressions;
• emotional responses.

All behaviour communicates something.

Our responsibility is to understand the message.

Behaviour as Communication

Children may communicate through behaviour because they:

• lack vocabulary;
• feel overwhelmed;
• are frustrated;
• are anxious;
• are excited;
• need attention;
• need reassurance.

Responding to the underlying need is often more effective than responding only to the behaviour itself.

Understanding Development

Behaviour should always be viewed in the context of a child's:

• age;
• stage of development;
• personality;
• experiences;
• additional needs.

Expectations should be realistic.

Children cannot consistently demonstrate skills they have not yet developed.

Positive Relationships

Children behave best when they feel:

• safe;
• respected;
• listened to;
• valued;
• understood.

Positive relationships reduce many behaviour difficulties before they arise.

Building Trust

Trust develops through:

• consistency;
• kindness;
• fairness;
• reliability;
• active listening.

Children who trust adults are more likely to seek help when they need it.

Every Interaction Matters

Small interactions build relationships.

Examples include:

• greeting children by name;
• smiling;
• listening carefully;
• noticing achievements;
• showing genuine interest.

Positive relationships are built through everyday moments.

Respect

Respect should be mutual.

Staff should:

• speak politely;
• remain calm;
• avoid sarcasm;
• avoid shouting;
• protect children's dignity.

Children learn respect by experiencing it.

Consistency

Children feel safer when expectations remain consistent.

Consistency includes:

• routines;
• boundaries;
• language;
• consequences;
• adult responses.

Inconsistency often increases uncertainty and challenging behaviour.

Positive Reinforcement

Notice the behaviours you want to encourage.

Examples include:

• kindness;
• perseverance;
• sharing;
• honesty;
• cooperation;
• resilience.

Children repeat behaviours that receive positive attention.

Encouragement vs Praise

Praise focuses on the person.

Example:

"You're clever."

Encouragement focuses on effort.

Example:

"You worked really hard on that."

Encouragement helps children develop resilience and a growth mindset.

Creating a Positive Environment

Behaviour improves when environments are:

• predictable;
• organised;
• welcoming;
• stimulating;
• emotionally safe.

Good environments reduce unnecessary stress.

The Adult's Influence

Adults influence behaviour through:

• tone of voice;
• facial expression;
• body language;
• emotional regulation.

Children often mirror the emotional state of trusted adults.

Remaining calm helps children become calm.

Practice Scenario – Calling Out

Practice Scenario – Refusing an Activity

Manager Coaching Notes

Managers should ensure:

• behaviour expectations remain consistent;
• relationships are prioritised;
• staff model respectful communication;
• behaviour is viewed developmentally;
• positive reinforcement is embedded throughout DASC.

Outstanding behaviour management begins with outstanding relationships.

Positive Relationships Checklist

Throughout every session, ask yourself:

□ Have I greeted every child positively?

□ Am I noticing positive behaviour?

□ Am I listening carefully?

□ Am I remaining calm?

□ Am I modelling respectful behaviour?

□ Have I considered what the behaviour is communicating?

□ Are expectations consistent?

□ Am I encouraging rather than criticising?

□ Does every child feel valued?

□ Am I building trust today?

Positive behaviour grows from positive relationships.

Establishing Expectations, Boundaries and Positive Behaviour

Children thrive when they understand what is expected of them.

Clear expectations help children feel:

• safe;
• secure;
• confident;
• included.

Boundaries are not about controlling children.

They provide the structure children need to learn, develop and build positive relationships.

Why Boundaries Matter

Children are still learning:

• self-control;
• empathy;
• patience;
• responsibility;
• problem-solving.

Boundaries help children practise these important life skills.

Without clear expectations, children may feel uncertain and unsafe.

Setting Expectations

Expectations should be:

• simple;
• clear;
• consistent;
• age appropriate;
• explained positively.

Children are more likely to follow expectations they understand.

Positive Rules

Where possible, state expectations positively.

Instead of:

❌ "Don't run."

Use:

✅ "Please use walking feet."

Instead of:

❌ "Stop shouting."

Use:

✅ "Let's use our indoor voices."

Positive language tells children what to do, not only what to avoid.

Keeping Expectations Simple

Children remember a small number of consistent expectations more easily than long lists of rules.

Examples include:

• Be Kind
• Be Safe
• Be Respectful
• Be Ready to Learn

These principles can guide many everyday situations.

Explaining the Reason

Children are more likely to cooperate when they understand why expectations exist.

For example:

"We walk indoors because running could hurt someone."

Rather than:

"Because I said so."

Understanding encourages responsibility.

Consistency Between Staff

Children quickly notice when adults respond differently.

All staff should apply expectations consistently while still responding to individual needs.

Consistency creates security.

Fair Does Not Always Mean Equal

Different children sometimes need different levels of support.

For example:

• a child with ADHD may need movement breaks;
• a child with autism may need visual prompts;
• a younger child may need additional reminders.

Fairness means providing what each child needs to succeed.

Giving Instructions

Effective instructions should be:

• calm;
• brief;
• specific;
• positive.

Whenever possible:

• gain the child's attention first;
• make eye contact where appropriate;
• speak at the child's level.

Children are more likely to follow instructions when they feel respected.

Offering Choices

Providing limited choices helps children develop independence while maintaining boundaries.

Examples include:

• "Would you like to start with colouring or reading?"
• "Would you like to tidy the blocks first or the books first?"

Choices should always be acceptable options.

Routines

Predictable routines reduce uncertainty.

Children benefit from knowing:

• what happens next;
• when snack time is;
• when activities change;
• how sessions end.

Routine supports emotional regulation.

Preparing for Transitions

Many behaviour difficulties occur during transitions.

Prepare children by giving advance notice.

For example:

"In five minutes we will tidy away and move to snack time."

This helps children adjust more successfully.

Positive Reinforcement

Notice behaviour that reflects DASC values.

Examples include:

• helping a friend;
• sharing resources;
• waiting patiently;
• showing resilience;
• trying something new.

Positive attention strengthens positive behaviour.

Recognition

Recognition does not always require rewards.

Examples include:

• a smile;
• verbal encouragement;
• responsibility;
• certificates;
• celebrating effort.

Children value genuine recognition.

Natural Consequences

Whenever appropriate, use natural or logical consequences rather than punishments.

Examples:

• spilling water → helping to clean it up;
• making a mess → helping to tidy;
• damaging equipment → discussing how to prevent it next time.

Consequences should teach responsibility rather than create fear.

Avoiding Power Struggles

Power struggles rarely improve behaviour.

If emotions are escalating:

• stay calm;
• reduce your voice;
• allow thinking time;
• avoid arguing.

Children cannot learn effectively when emotionally overwhelmed.

Correcting Behaviour Privately

Where possible:

Correct behaviour quietly and respectfully.

Avoid correcting children publicly unless immediate safety requires intervention.

Protecting dignity supports positive relationships.

Repairing Relationships

After behaviour incidents:

Help children:

• understand what happened;
• repair harm;
• rebuild relationships;
• move forward.

Children should not feel permanently labelled by mistakes.

Promoting Independence

As children mature, encourage them to:

• solve problems;
• apologise sincerely;
• reflect on choices;
• suggest solutions.

Behaviour management should gradually build self-management.

Practice Scenario – Running Indoors

Practice Scenario – Refusing to Tidy Up

Manager Coaching Notes

Managers should ensure:

• behaviour expectations are understood by all staff;
• routines remain consistent;
• positive reinforcement is embedded;
• staff use respectful language;
• consequences focus on learning;
• relationships remain central to behaviour support.

Outstanding behaviour management creates confident, responsible and emotionally secure children.

Positive Behaviour Checklist

Throughout every session, ask:

□ Have expectations been explained clearly?

□ Am I using positive language?

□ Are routines predictable?

□ Have I recognised positive behaviour today?

□ Am I remaining calm?

□ Have I avoided unnecessary confrontation?

□ Are children being treated fairly?

□ Have I protected children's dignity?

□ Am I teaching rather than punishing?

□ Am I strengthening relationships through every interaction?

Positive behaviour develops when expectations are clear and relationships are strong.

Understanding Challenging Behaviour and De-escalation

Even in the most nurturing environments, children will sometimes become upset, frustrated or overwhelmed.

The goal of behaviour management is not to prevent every difficult behaviour.

The goal is to:

• understand why it is happening;
• keep everyone safe;
• help the child regain emotional regulation;
• teach better ways of responding in the future.

Outstanding practitioners respond with calm professionalism rather than reacting emotionally.

What is Challenging Behaviour?

Challenging behaviour is behaviour that:

• places the child or others at risk;
• disrupts learning or activities;
• causes distress;
• requires additional adult support.

Examples include:

• shouting;
• hitting;
• kicking;
• throwing objects;
• damaging property;
• running away;
• persistent refusal.

The behaviour may be challenging.

The child is not.

Behaviour Has a Reason

Challenging behaviour may be linked to:

• frustration;
• anxiety;
• tiredness;
• hunger;
• sensory overload;
• communication difficulties;
• friendship issues;
• change in routine;
• trauma;
• unmet needs.

Understanding the cause helps us choose the right response.

The ABC Model

A useful way to understand behaviour is the ABC Model.

Looking at all three parts often reveals patterns.

Identifying Triggers

Common triggers include:

• unexpected change;
• losing a game;
• noisy environments;
• transitions;
• waiting;
• difficult work;
• conflict with peers;
• feeling excluded.

Recognising triggers helps prevent future incidents.

Early Warning Signs

Children often show signs before behaviour escalates.

These may include:

• becoming quieter;
• pacing;
• fidgeting;
• raised voice;
• clenched fists;
• tearfulness;
• withdrawing from others.

Early intervention is usually more effective than waiting until behaviour escalates.

Emotional Regulation

Young children are still learning to regulate emotions.

When emotions become overwhelming, children may temporarily lose the ability to:

• think clearly;
• solve problems;
• listen;
• communicate effectively.

Adults should provide regulation—not additional stress.

Co-Regulation

Children often regulate their emotions through calm adults.

Co-regulation means:

• staying calm;
• speaking slowly;
• offering reassurance;
• helping the child feel safe.

Children borrow the calmness of trusted adults.

De-escalation

De-escalation aims to reduce emotional intensity before behaviour becomes more serious.

Helpful strategies include:

• lowering your voice;
• reducing the audience;
• giving space where appropriate;
• listening without interrupting;
• acknowledging feelings;
• offering simple choices.

The objective is calm—not control.

Language That Helps

Examples include:

• "I can see you're upset."
• "I'm here to help."
• "Let's solve this together."
• "Take your time."
• "When you're ready, we'll talk."

These phrases communicate safety.

Language to Avoid

Avoid saying:

• "Calm down!"
• "Stop crying."
• "You're overreacting."
• "What's wrong with you?"
• "If you don't stop..."

Threats and criticism usually increase escalation.

Giving Space

Some children benefit from brief space to regulate.

This should always be:

• supervised;
• supportive;
• appropriate to the child's needs.

Space should never become isolation or exclusion.

Active Listening

When a child is ready to talk:

Listen carefully.

Avoid interrupting.

Reflect back what you hear.

For example:

"It sounds like you were disappointed because you wanted another turn."

Feeling understood often reduces distress.

Maintaining Safety

If behaviour presents immediate risk:

Prioritise:

• protecting children;
• protecting staff;
• reducing harm.

Remove dangerous objects if safe.

Move other children away where appropriate.

Seek assistance promptly.

Always follow DASC's Behaviour Management and Physical Intervention policies.

Never Escalate

Avoid:

• shouting;
• arguing;
• sarcasm;
• humiliation;
• public confrontation.

Adults should never compete emotionally with children.

Professionalism means remaining calm under pressure.

After the Incident

When everyone is calm:

Help the child reflect:

• What happened?
• How were people affected?
• What could we do differently next time?
• How can we repair the situation?

Learning happens after regulation—not during crisis.

Restoring Relationships

Where appropriate, support children to:

• apologise sincerely;
• repair damaged work;
• rebuild friendships;
• make positive choices.

Restoration promotes responsibility.

Punishment alone rarely teaches new skills.

Practice Scenario – Angry After Losing

Practice Scenario – Escalating Argument

Manager Coaching Notes

Managers should ensure:

• staff understand the ABC model;
• de-escalation strategies are practised regularly;
• behaviour support focuses on learning;
• restorative approaches are embedded;
• incidents are reviewed constructively;
• staff wellbeing is supported after challenging incidents.

Outstanding behaviour management is proactive, reflective and relationship-centred.

De-escalation Checklist

When behaviour begins to escalate, ask yourself:

□ Have I stayed calm?

□ Have I considered possible triggers?

□ Am I using a quiet voice?

□ Have I acknowledged the child's feelings?

□ Have I reduced the audience?

□ Is everyone safe?

□ Am I avoiding confrontation?

□ Have I offered appropriate choices?

□ Will this response teach rather than punish?

□ Can we repair the relationship afterwards?

Children remember how adults responded long after they forget the incident itself.

Behaviour, SEND, Trauma and Safeguarding

Not all behaviour has the same cause.

Some children experience additional challenges because of:

• Special Educational Needs and Disabilities (SEND);
• neurodiversity;
• adverse childhood experiences (ACEs);
• trauma;
• attachment difficulties;
• mental health needs;
• safeguarding concerns.

Outstanding practitioners avoid assumptions and remain professionally curious.

Behaviour is Individual

Two children may display the same behaviour for completely different reasons.

For example:

A child who refuses an activity may be:

• anxious;
• overwhelmed;
• avoiding failure;
• seeking attention;
• struggling to understand instructions;
• experiencing sensory overload.

Understanding the reason behind the behaviour helps determine the most appropriate support.

Behaviour and SEND

Some children with SEND experience difficulties with:

• emotional regulation;
• communication;
• attention;
• impulse control;
• sensory processing;
• flexibility of thinking.

These difficulties may affect behaviour.

Behaviour support should always take account of the child's individual needs.

Autism Spectrum Condition (ASC)

Some autistic children may experience:

• sensory overload;
• anxiety during unexpected changes;
• difficulty understanding social situations;
• intense interests;
• distress when routines change.

Behaviour should always be understood within the child's individual profile.

Every autistic child is different.

ADHD

Children with ADHD may find it difficult to:

• wait their turn;
• remain seated;
• control impulses;
• sustain attention;
• regulate emotions.

These behaviours are not usually deliberate choices.

Supportive strategies may include:

• movement breaks;
• shorter instructions;
• visual reminders;
• positive reinforcement.

Speech, Language and Communication Needs

Children who struggle to communicate may become frustrated.

Behaviour may occur because the child cannot easily express:

• needs;
• worries;
• confusion;
• discomfort.

Supporting communication often improves behaviour.

Sensory Processing

Some children are highly sensitive to:

• noise;
• bright lights;
• crowded spaces;
• certain textures;
• smells.

Sensory overload may lead to:

• withdrawal;
• distress;
• shouting;
• running away;
• emotional outbursts.

Adjusting the environment may be more effective than correcting the behaviour.

Trauma-Informed Practice

Some children have experienced difficult life events.

These may include:

• bereavement;
• domestic abuse;
• neglect;
• abuse;
• family breakdown;
• instability.

Trauma can affect how children:

• trust adults;
• manage emotions;
• respond to stress;
• interpret situations.

Trauma changes behaviour because it changes how children experience safety.

Attachment

Children who have experienced disrupted attachment relationships may:

• seek constant reassurance;
• reject adult support;
• become overly controlling;
• struggle with separation;
• react strongly to perceived rejection.

Consistent, predictable relationships help build trust.

Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)

ACEs may include:

• abuse;
• neglect;
• parental substance misuse;
• domestic abuse;
• parental imprisonment;
• mental illness within the household.

Not every child who experiences ACEs will display challenging behaviour.

Equally, challenging behaviour does not automatically indicate trauma.

Professional curiosity is essential.

Behaviour and Safeguarding

Sometimes behaviour may indicate safeguarding concerns.

Examples include:

• sudden personality changes;
• extreme aggression;
• unusual fearfulness;
• sexualised behaviour;
• repeated running away;
• self-harming behaviour;
• significant emotional withdrawal.

These concerns should always be reported in accordance with DASC Safeguarding Procedures.

Professional Curiosity

Professional curiosity means respectfully asking:

• What has changed?
• Is this behaviour unusual?
• Has something happened recently?
• Does this behaviour fit a wider pattern?
• Does safeguarding need to be considered?

Curiosity supports early intervention.

Reasonable Adjustments

Children may benefit from:

• visual timetables;
• movement breaks;
• quieter workspaces;
• sensory resources;
• additional processing time;
• simplified instructions;
• predictable routines.

Reasonable adjustments promote inclusion rather than lowering expectations.

Equality and Inclusion

Every child deserves:

• dignity;
• respect;
• opportunity;
• belonging.

Behaviour systems should never disadvantage children because of:

• disability;
• SEND;
• culture;
• language;
• background.

Fairness means meeting individual needs.

Working with Parents

Parents often have valuable insights into:

• triggers;
• calming strategies;
• successful routines;
• communication preferences;
• sensory needs.

Partnership strengthens behaviour support.

Multi-Agency Working

Some children may receive support from:

• schools;
• educational psychologists;
• speech and language therapists;
• occupational therapists;
• CAMHS;
• social workers.

Where appropriate and in accordance with information-sharing procedures, DASC should work collaboratively with these professionals.

Recording Concerns

If behaviour raises concerns:

Record:

• facts;
• observations;
• dates;
• times;
• triggers;
• actions taken.

Avoid:

• assumptions;
• diagnoses;
• personal opinions.

Accurate records support effective safeguarding and support planning.

Practice Scenario – Sensory Overload

Practice Scenario – Sudden Behaviour Change

Manager Coaching Notes

Managers should ensure:

• staff understand the relationship between behaviour and SEND;
• trauma-informed practice is embedded;
• safeguarding concerns are recognised promptly;
• reasonable adjustments are implemented consistently;
• behaviour records remain objective and accurate;
• partnership working supports children's individual needs.

Outstanding behaviour management is inclusive, reflective and child-centred.

Behaviour, SEND & Safeguarding Checklist

When supporting behaviour, ask yourself:

□ Have I considered the child's developmental stage?

□ Could SEND be influencing this behaviour?

□ Have I considered sensory needs?

□ Has there been a recent change in behaviour?

□ Have I remained professionally curious?

□ Have I made reasonable adjustments?

□ Have I recorded facts objectively?

□ Does this behaviour raise safeguarding concerns?

□ Have I shared concerns through the correct procedures?

□ Am I supporting the child rather than labelling them?

Children's behaviour often reflects needs that cannot yet be expressed in words.

Bullying, Conflict Resolution and Restorative Practice

DASC is committed to creating an environment where every child feels:

• safe;
• respected;
• included;
• valued.

Conflict is a normal part of childhood.

Bullying is not.

Outstanding practitioners understand the difference and respond appropriately.

Conflict vs Bullying

Children sometimes:

• disagree;
• argue;
• compete;
• fall out.

These situations are a normal part of learning social skills.

Bullying is different.

Bullying involves behaviour that is:

• intentional;
• repeated over time;
• intended to hurt, intimidate or control another person;
• linked to an imbalance of power.

Recognising the difference helps staff respond appropriately.

Types of Bullying

Bullying may be:

Physical

• hitting;
• pushing;
• kicking;
• damaging belongings.

Verbal

• name-calling;
• teasing;
• threats;
• insults.

Social

• excluding others;
• spreading rumours;
• encouraging others not to play with someone.

Online (Cyberbullying)

Although DASC sessions involve limited online interaction, bullying may occur through:

• messaging apps;
• online games;
• social media;
• group chats.

Children may discuss these issues during sessions.

Staff should respond appropriately and inform parents where necessary.

Why Children Bully

There is no single reason.

Possible factors include:

• seeking power;
• copying behaviour;
• insecurity;
• poor emotional regulation;
• peer pressure;
• previous experiences.

Understanding the reason does not excuse the behaviour.

Recognising Bullying

Possible signs include:

• reluctance to attend;
• unexplained injuries;
• damaged belongings;
• withdrawal;
• anxiety;
• frequent complaints about peers;
• sudden loss of confidence.

One sign alone may not indicate bullying.

Patterns should be explored.

Listening to Children

If a child reports bullying:

Listen carefully.

Take the concern seriously.

Avoid making promises you cannot keep.

Reassure the child they did the right thing by speaking up.

Responding to Bullying

Staff should:

• stop the behaviour;
• ensure everyone is safe;
• listen to all children involved;
• record concerns;
• inform the manager;
• communicate with parents where appropriate;
• follow DASC's Anti-Bullying Policy.

Responses should be fair, proportionate and educational.

Supporting the Child Who Was Harmed

Children affected by bullying may need:

• reassurance;
• emotional support;
• increased supervision;
• opportunities to rebuild confidence;
• ongoing monitoring.

Support should continue after the immediate incident.

Supporting the Child Who Displayed Bullying Behaviour

Children displaying bullying behaviour also require support.

Help them:

• understand the impact of their actions;
• develop empathy;
• learn alternative behaviours;
• repair relationships.

Children should be held accountable while remaining supported.

Conflict Resolution

Many disagreements can be resolved by helping children:

• listen to one another;
• explain their feelings;
• identify the problem;
• suggest solutions;
• agree next steps.

Adults should facilitate rather than dominate.

Restorative Practice

Restorative practice focuses on repairing relationships.

Rather than asking:

"Who is to blame?"

Ask:

• What happened?
• Who has been affected?
• How can we make things right?
• What can we do differently next time?

Restoration teaches responsibility.

Teaching Empathy

Children develop empathy by learning to consider:

• how others feel;
• how actions affect others;
• how to repair harm.

Empathy is taught through conversation, modelling and reflection.

Encouraging Problem Solving

Support children to suggest solutions themselves.

Examples include:

• taking turns;
• sharing equipment;
• apologising sincerely;
• choosing another activity;
• agreeing new rules for the game.

Ownership increases commitment.

Apologies

A meaningful apology should include:

• recognising what happened;
• acknowledging the impact;
• expressing genuine regret;
• changing future behaviour.

Forced apologies rarely teach empathy.

Inclusion

Children should never be excluded socially because they are:

• different;
• new;
• shy;
• have SEND;
• speak another language;
• come from another culture.

Adults play an important role in helping every child feel they belong.

Respectful Language

Adults should model language such as:

• "Let's listen to each other."

• "How can we solve this together?"

• "Everyone deserves respect."

Children copy the language they hear.

Recording Incidents

Where bullying or significant conflict occurs:

Record:

• facts;
• actions taken;
• children's views;
• parental communication;
• follow-up support.

Accurate records support consistency.

Partnership with Parents

Where appropriate, involve parents promptly.

Discussions should focus on:

• supporting children;
• resolving concerns;
• promoting positive relationships.

Parents should feel included in solutions.

Practice Scenario – Excluding a Child

Practice Scenario – Name Calling

Manager Coaching Notes

Managers should ensure:

• Anti-Bullying procedures are understood;
• restorative practice is embedded;
• incidents are recorded consistently;
• children receive appropriate emotional support;
• staff model respectful communication;
• parents are involved appropriately.

Outstanding behaviour management develops emotionally intelligent children who understand respect, empathy and responsibility.

Conflict Resolution Checklist

When supporting children through disagreements, ask:

□ Have I listened to every child fairly?

□ Have I remained neutral?

□ Is everyone safe?

□ Have I helped children explain their feelings?

□ Have I focused on repairing relationships?

□ Have I encouraged children to suggest solutions?

□ Have I protected every child's dignity?

□ Does this need recording?

□ Should parents be informed?

□ What can everyone learn from this situation?

Conflict can become one of the greatest opportunities for children to learn empathy, resilience and respectful relationships.

Behaviour Recording, Physical Intervention and Professional Accountability

Good behaviour management does not end when the incident is over.

Outstanding practitioners:

• reflect;
• record;
• communicate;
• learn;
• improve.

Accurate recording protects:

• children;
• staff;
• families;
• DASC.

It also helps identify patterns and informs future support.

Why Record Behaviour?

Behaviour records help DASC to:

• identify recurring patterns;
• understand triggers;
• monitor interventions;
• communicate with parents;
• support safeguarding;
• evaluate behaviour support plans.

Recording is about improving support—not assigning blame.

When Should Behaviour Be Recorded?

Record behaviour incidents where:

• someone has been hurt;
• property has been damaged;
• behaviour is repeated;
• safeguarding concerns exist;
• restrictive intervention has been used;
• significant disruption has occurred;
• parents need to be informed.

Minor everyday behaviour that is resolved immediately may not require a formal incident record.

Follow DASC procedures.

What Should Be Recorded?

Behaviour records should include:

• date;
• time;
• location;
• people involved;
• factual description;
• triggers (where known);
• action taken;
• outcome;
• follow-up required.

Records should tell the complete story.

Objective Recording

Always record:

✔ what you saw

✔ what you heard

✔ what happened

Avoid recording:

✘ assumptions

✘ diagnoses

✘ opinions

✘ emotional language

Facts support professional decision-making.

Using the ABC Model

Behaviour records should often include:

The ABC model helps identify patterns over time.

Confidentiality

Behaviour records are confidential.

Information should only be shared with:

• relevant staff;
• managers;
• parents where appropriate;
• professionals involved in supporting the child.

Children's privacy must always be respected.

Informing Parents

Parents should usually be informed where behaviour:

• caused injury;
• involved another child;
• was repeated;
• required significant intervention.

Conversations should remain:

• calm;
• factual;
• solution-focused.

The aim is partnership.

Working Together

Parents may provide valuable information about:

• home routines;
• recent changes;
• successful strategies;
• emotional wellbeing.

Behaviour support is strongest when families and DASC work together.

Behaviour Support Plans

Some children benefit from individual Behaviour Support Plans.

Plans may include:

• identified triggers;
• calming strategies;
• communication methods;
• reasonable adjustments;
• agreed responses;
• review dates.

Plans should be reviewed regularly.

Physical Intervention

Physical intervention should never be used as a punishment.

At DASC, restrictive physical intervention should only ever be used:

• as a last resort;
• when absolutely necessary;
• to prevent immediate harm;
• for the shortest possible time;
• using the least restrictive option available.

Any physical intervention must comply with DASC policy and current legislation.

Situations Where Physical Intervention May Be Necessary

Examples include:

• preventing serious injury;
• preventing a child running into immediate danger;
• stopping violence towards another child;
• preventing significant damage that creates immediate risk.

Physical intervention must never be used simply because a child refuses instructions.

During Physical Intervention

If restrictive intervention becomes necessary:

Staff should:

• remain calm;
• communicate clearly;
• use minimum force;
• continually assess risk;
• stop as soon as it is safe.

Children's dignity should always be protected.

After Physical Intervention

Following any restrictive intervention:

• check everyone is safe;
• provide reassurance;
• allow recovery time;
• inform the manager immediately;
• inform parents;
• complete required records;
• review the incident.

Learning should always follow intervention.

Staff Wellbeing

Managing challenging behaviour can be emotionally demanding.

Staff should:

• seek support when needed;
• attend debriefs;
• reflect professionally;
• access supervision.

Looking after staff wellbeing supports better care for children.

Professional Reflection

After behaviour incidents ask:

• What triggered the behaviour?
• Did our response help?
• Could we have intervened earlier?
• What should we try next time?
• Does the Behaviour Support Plan need updating?

Reflection improves future practice.

Learning from Behaviour

Behaviour incidents should lead to:

• improved practice;
• better planning;
• stronger relationships;
• enhanced understanding;
• safer environments.

Every incident offers an opportunity to learn.

Manager Responsibilities

Managers should:

• review behaviour records;
• identify emerging patterns;
• monitor consistency;
• support staff;
• liaise with parents;
• review Behaviour Support Plans;
• provide additional training where required.

Leadership shapes behaviour culture.

Practice Scenario – Behaviour Record

Practice Scenario – Preventing Harm

Manager Coaching Notes

Managers should ensure:

• behaviour records remain objective;
• staff understand recording expectations;
• physical intervention is used only as a last resort;
• Behaviour Support Plans remain current;
• reflective practice is embedded;
• staff receive emotional support after significant incidents.

Outstanding behaviour management combines excellent documentation with compassionate practice.

Behaviour Recording Checklist

Following a significant behaviour incident, ask:

□ Have I recorded the facts objectively?

□ Have I identified any triggers?

□ Have I informed the manager?

□ Have parents been informed where appropriate?

□ Does the child require additional support?

□ Does a Behaviour Support Plan need reviewing?

□ Was any physical intervention lawful, proportionate and recorded?

□ Have confidentiality requirements been maintained?

□ Have I reflected on my own practice?

□ What can we learn from this incident?

Professional records protect children, support staff and improve future outcomes.

Creating a Positive Behaviour Culture and Continuous Improvement

Outstanding behaviour management is not created by one policy or one member of staff.

It is created by a culture.

A positive behaviour culture exists when every adult consistently promotes:

• safety;
• kindness;
• respect;
• inclusion;
• responsibility;
• emotional wellbeing.

Children flourish when the adults around them work together.

What is Behaviour Culture?

Behaviour culture is the way people:

• speak;
• respond;
• solve problems;
• celebrate success;
• handle mistakes;
• treat one another.

Children learn culture by experiencing it every day.

Modelling Positive Behaviour

Children learn more from what adults do than from what adults say.

Every practitioner should model:

• kindness;
• patience;
• honesty;
• fairness;
• respect;
• resilience;
• self-control.

Adults are children's most powerful teachers.

Being a Role Model

Children notice:

• your tone of voice;
• your facial expressions;
• how you manage frustration;
• how you resolve disagreements;
• how you speak about others.

Professional behaviour encourages children to behave professionally too.

Creating Emotional Safety

Children behave more positively when they feel emotionally secure.

Adults should create environments where children feel:

• welcomed;
• listened to;
• accepted;
• encouraged;
• valued.

Emotional safety supports learning and behaviour.

Encouraging Independence

Behaviour management should gradually encourage children to:

• solve problems independently;
• make responsible choices;
• reflect on behaviour;
• apologise meaningfully;
• repair relationships.

Our aim is to develop independent, responsible young people.

Celebrating Success

Positive behaviour should be noticed every day.

Celebrate:

• effort;
• kindness;
• teamwork;
• perseverance;
• honesty;
• resilience;
• improvement.

Recognition encourages repetition.

Language Shapes Behaviour

Choose language carefully.

Instead of:

"You're always causing trouble."

Say:

"I know you can make a better choice."

Children often begin believing the messages they repeatedly hear.

High Expectations

Every child deserves high expectations.

High expectations should be:

• realistic;
• achievable;
• supportive;
• inclusive.

Children often rise to expectations when adults believe in them.

Working as One Team

Children benefit when adults:

• communicate consistently;
• support one another;
• use similar language;
• reinforce shared expectations.

Mixed messages create confusion.

Supporting New Staff

Behaviour expectations should form part of every induction.

New colleagues should understand:

• DASC values;
• behaviour procedures;
• restorative practice;
• recording expectations;
• de-escalation techniques.

Consistency starts with good induction.

Staff Reflection

Professional reflection should become routine.

Questions include:

• What worked well today?
• Which children needed additional support?
• Did our responses remain consistent?
• What could we improve tomorrow?

Reflection strengthens professional judgement.

Supervision and Coaching

Managers should use supervision sessions to discuss:

• behaviour strategies;
• challenging situations;
• staff wellbeing;
• professional development;
• consistency across the team.

Supportive supervision improves practice.

Learning from Data

Managers should periodically review:

• behaviour records;
• recurring triggers;
• times of day;
• locations;
• repeated incidents;
• Behaviour Support Plans.

Patterns often highlight opportunities for improvement.

Quality Assurance

Behaviour practice should be reviewed through:

• observations;
• learning walks;
• staff discussions;
• parent feedback;
• child voice;
• incident analysis.

Continuous review maintains high standards.

Listening to Children

Children's views help improve behaviour practice.

Ask questions such as:

• What helps you feel safe?
• What makes it easier to calm down?
• How do adults help you when you're upset?
• What could make DASC even kinder?

Children often provide valuable insights.

Working with Families

Parents are essential partners.

Share:

• successes;
• improvements;
• concerns;
• agreed strategies.

Positive communication should happen more often than difficult conversations.

Building Community

Positive behaviour is everyone's responsibility.

Children should feel that DASC is a community where:

• everyone belongs;
• everyone is respected;
• everyone contributes;
• everyone learns.

Belonging strengthens behaviour.

Continuous Improvement

Behaviour management should evolve through:

• training;
• reflection;
• research;
• professional discussion;
• learning from experience.

Outstanding organisations improve continuously.

Signs of an Outstanding Behaviour Culture

You know behaviour culture is strong when:

• children feel safe;
• adults remain calm;
• relationships are positive;
• conflict is resolved respectfully;
• bullying is rare and addressed promptly;
• families trust the setting;
• children regulate themselves increasingly well.

These outcomes reflect excellent leadership and teamwork.

Practice Scenario – A New Volunteer

Practice Scenario – Celebrating Progress

Manager Coaching Notes

Managers should ensure:

• behaviour culture reflects DASC values;
• coaching supports consistency;
• staff wellbeing remains a priority;
• reflection becomes routine;
• children and families contribute to improvement;
• professional development continues throughout employment.

Outstanding behaviour management is sustained through leadership, reflection and continuous learning.

Behaviour Culture Checklist

Reflect regularly:

□ Are children treated respectfully?

□ Are expectations consistent?

□ Do adults model calm behaviour?

□ Are positive behaviours recognised daily?

□ Are children encouraged to solve problems?

□ Do parents feel involved?

□ Are staff supporting one another?

□ Are incidents used as learning opportunities?

□ Is reflection embedded into practice?

□ Does DASC feel emotionally safe for everyone?

A positive culture is built through hundreds of everyday interactions.

End of Course Assessment

Instructions

Complete the assessment below.

A pass mark of 80% is required before the course can be marked as complete.

Competency Declaration

Related DASC Courses

References

Course Summary

Throughout this course you have explored how positive relationships form the foundation of effective behaviour management.

You have learned:

• why behaviour is a form of communication;
• how relationships influence children's behaviour;
• the importance of consistent expectations and routines;
• effective de-escalation techniques;
• how behaviour may relate to SEND, trauma or safeguarding concerns;
• the difference between conflict and bullying;
• restorative approaches to repairing relationships;
• when and how behaviour should be recorded;
• the legal and ethical principles surrounding physical intervention;
• how a positive behaviour culture benefits every child.

Behaviour management is not about controlling children.

It is about helping children develop the emotional and social skills they need throughout life.

The DASC Behaviour Framework

Every member of staff should follow this framework:

This framework places relationships at the heart of behaviour management.

Key Messages to Remember

Always remember:

• Behaviour is communication.
• Relationships come before correction.
• Stay calm when children cannot.
• Teach skills rather than impose punishment.
• Fair does not always mean the same.
• Celebrate effort and progress.
• Consider SEND, trauma and safeguarding.
• Restore relationships after conflict.
• Record facts objectively.
• Every interaction teaches children something.

Children may not remember every rule.

They will remember how adults made them feel.

Course Completion

Congratulations.

You have completed Course 24 – Behaviour Management & Positive Relationships.

This course reinforces one of DASC's core beliefs:

Children learn best when they feel safe, understood and respected.

By applying the principles from this course, you will help ensure that:

• relationships remain at the heart of behaviour support;
• children develop emotional regulation and resilience;
• behaviour is understood rather than simply judged;
• restorative practice strengthens friendships;
• SEND and safeguarding are always considered;
• families work in partnership with DASC;
• behaviour incidents become opportunities for learning and growth.

Remember the four guiding principles of behaviour management at DASC:

• Connect Before You Correct
• Teach, Don't Punish
• Stay Calm and Consistent
• Help Every Child Succeed

Every interaction with a child shapes their confidence, relationships and future.

Together, we create a setting where children feel safe to learn, safe to make mistakes and safe to become the very best version of themselves.